NO MORE CAKES AND ALE
When the Devil gets into men it must find expression in all
manner of evil deeds. We see in the
riots the true face of these satanic celebrants, in unholy alliance with Papist
idolatry. They would have us turn our
backs on Christ’s authentic message, reduced to animals and backward. Here we have the perfect living case for why
these debauched merchants and their fooleries and deviltries must be outlawed.
For those who would tell me I am a killjoy for suppressing
this merrymaking, I would tell you of the disreputable years of my youth, when
I defiled the Nativity of Christ in much the way that these arrogant priests
worship the masse. I am a plain man now
and I live through my son who hopes to become a man of the cloth.
The Lords of Misrule who preside over these decadent pagan
feasts on the Twelfth Night are practising nothing more than superstition,
abusing the Holy-days by failing to observe the most solemn and sobrius of
common Christian manners. Nothing can
vindicate it. These Devil-kind devices
must be cleansed from the souls of these misguided creatures.
The play houses that are too-often scenes of rioting and
disorder must be shut and their patrons examined by Marshals. If found to have strayed, they should be
placed in irons. The ale houses that
corrupt our men must be closed down.
These vile dens of iniquity must no longer serve to harbour weak ungodly
men on cold winter nights. It is in the
embrace of Christ that they should seek warmth.
Drunkenness and gluttony must be punished now as redemption for the
after-life.
It is the duty of this Parliament now sitting as the Common
Assembly to pass such decrees as are necessary to ensure proper observance, to
reform our manners and to improve public morals for the health of the common
folk.
That is why I say: No more cakes and ale.
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